Photo by Olivia Leigh Photographie
An invitation to a wedding is not a quid pro quo situation: Just because you invited someone does not mean they owe you a gift. Nonetheless, when no wedding gift is received from a guest, it's an awkward (not to mention hurtful) situation.
Giving a wedding gift is the right thing to do (although there are some exceptions), it's in good form, and the vast majority of wedding guests will give a giftbut some won't. Here's exactly how to deal with wedding guests who failed to give a gift.
Month 1: Wait It Out
Wedding gifts will continue to trickle in after the wedding, especially within the first month. Beyond that, it's unlikely but it is possible (after all, tradition has long held that wedding guests have up to a year to give you a gift).
Month 2-3: Send a Thank You Note for Attending
Sometimes wedding gifts are lost, misplaced, delivered incorrectly, or even stolenand a month out from the wedding, you're probably starting to wonder if any of the missing gifts fall into those categories. The best thing to do, then, is to send a thank you card to the wedding guests who didn't give a gift and thank them for their presence at the wedding. Personalize it and make it very specific (there is nothing worse than a generic thank you note).
If you're expressing your gratitude and mention of a gift is entirely missing, an astute guest who did, in fact, give you a gift will realize you didn't receive it. That's their cue to follow up with a "Hey, did you get my gift?" message, and the two of you can sort out what happened from there. And, in the event that the guest really didn't give a gift, your thank you note will still be a gracious and polite gesture.
Never ask a guest why they didn't give a gift. Even though it's impolite of the guest to not give a gift, it would also be impolite to question why they didn't give one.
Month 4 and Beyond: Let It Go
Chances are, if you haven't gotten a wedding gift by month four, you're not going to get one. At this point, it's pretty much safe to say the wedding guests who didn't give you a gift just aren't going to. While, technically, you could bring it up with them, it is best to not. The bottom line is this: you are not owed a gift. Your only recourse is to let it go.How to Write a Wedding Thank You Card